Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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