Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
