Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
