Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
