He told me they were just razor bumps!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
