Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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