just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
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He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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