Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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