Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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