I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
