It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I supernannyed him into submission
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
