Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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