I'm passing your future prison.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
