yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
