we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
