I like to think it a success when the cops are called
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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