if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
either way he was missing a nipple.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
