she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
