I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
