someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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