Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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