My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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