i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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