You work out of a Hotel?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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