Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
