he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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