Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize