How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
