that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize