chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
