FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
