Your tits are I can't wait for
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro