Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
