R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
