I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
