I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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