i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
