You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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