I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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