Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
