he shaved USA in his pubs
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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