No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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