brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Sorry my hands just texted you
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
