just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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