I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
