You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
