he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
