i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
