He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize