youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
NoShamevember. You game?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Randomize
