Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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