Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
