Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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