My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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