I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize