ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize