Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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