I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
