I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
