i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
