Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
