We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
