I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
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He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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