Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
