Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
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I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
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Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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