Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...