I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"