We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
