They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
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I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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